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Turning 60–what I’ve learned in the past six decades so far: #5 Believe in Yourself!

Most of my life has been spent worrying about what other people thought of me, looking for approval, not feeling good enough, not pretty enough and feeling like I have not succeeded in anything. I think I’m a pretty friendly person. I always try and make a conscious effort to think about what I say, and I do my best to motivate others and help when I can. I’ve always believed that everyone is a beautiful soul, everyone deserves happiness and to be loved. I just had a hard time believing that when it came to me!

Sometimes I let my feelings and hurt get the best of me. In my sixty years of life, I have had some pretty weird rumors about me, some really funny and out of this world, and some really hurtful. I’ve been blocked on social media and probably on phones too. I’ve been made to feel bad for things I believe in and for my life choices. I’ve even had my HIPPA laws broken by someone I know! I would leave a lot as is, because I always try to think about how my actions would affect the other people in my life. So, things got left unheard and undone. My father used to say “crying and thinking about what you did or say, won’t change anything. Say your sorry and move on, when you say sorry, you at least acknowledge to the the person you hurt, that you know you did something wrong”. The sad thing is some people think only of themselves, and instead of admitting wrong, think of every excuse to feel right.

Now after six decades, and I don’t know why it took me this long, believing in me and avoiding self-pity is a big goal! I have decided to discover more about who I am, what makes me happy, and what makes me tick, what is my purpose in this life, and doing things to please me first! Believing in myself has always been difficult, and it is a lesson I am still learning, and realizing is an ongoing journey.

As we enter new seasons of life, we often uncover amazing truths about ourselves, which some may take us by surprise. 60 for me is a time to reflect on me, to treat myself first, not to stress out or care about what other people think, to believe that I can accomplish whatever I want, and accepting if things don’t go as planned, try a new adventure, or a new idea. Meditation and reflection has really helped me focus to see that I am special, I have more people who love and appreciate me than those who do not. I have come to my realization that people who talk, block, lie, etc. do it because they are jealous and that is a pretty great feeling that people are so envious!

I am extremely grateful for my husband, who I know loves me and thinks I am the most beautiful creature on earth. I am grateful for my kids who I can talk to about anything, and can make me laugh. I am grateful for the friends from my past and the new ones I’m making. These people in my life are the perfect recipe for me to believe in myself!

“You may be the only person left who believes in you, but it’s enough. It takes just one star to pierce a universe of darkness. Never give up.”  

Richelle E. Goodrich

Embrace Creativity: Painting as a Form of Mindfulness

One of my lessons was to keep on learning, working that mind. My husband has been incredible at doing what he can to keep my mind young. Just about every evening we do a puzzle, play a silly game, have some crazy creative date nights or paint. My husband is a great painter and had me paint with him one day. It is very calming, and I have really taken a like to it. I’m still trying to figure out what my niche is, I like painting gardens and things that make me feel love and peace, hippy like stuff. Painting is like meditating with color! We have even started selling our paintings. If you would like to check out some of our paintings, you can on our Facebook page – Hang Fire Studio – https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61581268841871

So keep on learning!

All you need to paint is a few tools, a little instruction, and a vision in your mind”~ Bob Ross

Happy New Years

What have I been doing in 2024!

It is so hard to believe that it has been a year since I posted anything. I plan to do better this year. Posting keeps me on my toes to read and learn more about myself.

This past year we welcomed a third grandchild. I did a bit of traveling to Puerto Rico, Mexico, Montana, Wisconsin Dells, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri and a few more places. In September I hit the big “61” and loving it so far. I started crafting and sewing a bit again. I have the pleasure of watching my two granddaughters two days a week and made my first Tik-Tok video with my niece.

With my Sjrögens Disease, I am still learning about it & after changing my eating habits, meditating & stretching daily, I can say I’ve had more better days, than days with pain. I love bread so much but it happens to be the food that causes my worst inflammation, so don’t get to enjoy as often as I would like. The best part is losing 35 pounds. My husband and I do a guided meditation just about every night and I started a morning ritual of coffee, stretching and breathing meditation.

I am grateful for the life I get to live and for the people in my life. 2025 will be just as great or better, because we have this year that we can’t ever make up, so let’s make the best of every day to come. Happy new years!

Dry, Dry, Dry

One of the things that I have been struggling with is dryness. Dry eyes and dry mouth are the most common symptoms of Sjögren’s. With me it has been dry eyes, mouth and throat, skin, hair, nasal passages and a persistent dry cough, just dry everything. If I do not apply lotion a couple times a day on my skin, I feel like my skin is crawling with bugs. With my mouth being so dry, my teeth are prone to cavities and tooth decay, I use a special prescription toothpaste.

A few years ago, before being diagnosed with Sjögren’s, I started losing my eyebrows. By 2020 they were just about completely gone. Made me sad because I thought I had the most perfectly shaped eyebrows and it was one of my favorite features about myself. My husband’s Aunt Dolly is such a positive person, and is a big believer of the “If you believe it, you can acheive it” She inspires me. I want to be just like her when I grow up.  While visiting Aunt Dolly in Florida a couple years ago, I was telling her about my eyebrows going away and she said to me “will them to come back!” “You keep thinking about how you lost them, start thinking about how wonderful it is that they grew back!” Everyday instead of dwelling on how I lost all my eyebrows, I would wake up every morning saying “look at how thick my eyebrows are growing”. I started to grow back a few hairs which made me very excited. Positive thinking – I am a true believer!

Well after my Sjögren’s diagnosis, I found out that losing my eyebrows was from the dryness.

About 5 months ago, I read Good Bye Lupus by Dr Brooke Goldner, who cured her battle with Lupus by changing her diet. It is a plant-based diet, and I thought I would try it. Now, I love my chicken – so I decided to start small, and it has made a big difference with just small changes at a time. I eat about 60% plant based and have seen changes in the way my skin feels, I’ve lost a little weight and . . . my eyebrows are growing back! I get so excited with each new little hair that comes in – like a kid in a candy store. I religiously drink my plant smoothies throughout the day and I try to make a plant-based dinner – with a little itty bit of chicken of course! My husband, who is one of my biggest cheerleaders, also started eating the same way and he lost weight and says he feels the better than he ever has in his life! Life is grand!

Turning 60–what I’ve learned in the past six decades so far: #4 Make New Friends!

It is important to have friends – especially as we age!

It turns out that good healthy friendships contribute to good physical health. Friends can decrease your risk of health issues like diabetes, heart attack and stroke. Friendships decrease the feelings of loneliness, which can shorten your lifespan (verywellmind.com).

Since moving from the big city of Kenosha to a small town in the country of less than 60 residents, it has been hard to make new friends. I think I’m a pretty easy going, interesting, friendly person to meet.

 So, this is an area I am working on – making new friends here!  

My husband has lived here all his life. We met on a dating app in our late 40s. In a small town, everybody knows each other, and about anyone I met, was through my husband, and many of his friends were also friends with his ex-wife, and I am not from around here. I think a reason I’ve had a hard time making friends is some people may have felt awkward about being friends with both of us. I think that because I had friends who would ask me if it’s ok to invite my ex-husband to events, because they are friends with both of us, they did not want to make either one of us feel awkward. I am grateful that my ex and I get along very well. Things are getting better as people get to know me, but most of them are acquaintances, or work friends. I don’t have the having coffee, let’s go to a movie or going out to lunch friends. I need to stop feeling weird about who knows who and just start inviting people I have met to lunch – they might think “boy, that’s the last time I have lunch with her”, or they might really like me – and that is ok, and who knows, I just might form new lifelong friendships!

I have an amazing husband! We travel and do so many fun things together all the time, but it is also just as important and healthy to have “couple friends” to do things with. Studies show that the company we keep outside of our romantic relationships is essential for our overall well-being. Doing things with other couples actually strengthens your relationship! (Psychcentral.com). We need to get on the ball of inviting other couples to do things with too!

Turning 60–what I’ve learned in the past six decades so far: #3 Laugh as much as you can!

Laugh, laugh and laugh some more until your cheeks hurt!

I am so fortunate to have a husband who is a goof ball – we laugh about something every day. I also have four kids who are just as goofy. I know I can call any one of my kids and they will have me laughing about something or another. And my grandchildren – well that is an automatic big smile!

As I was getting closer to 60, dealing and grieving four deaths in my immediate family in a year, going through a deep depression, watching my husband struggle though a year of not walking and surgeries, and being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, I realize life is too short. Life is challenging enough, and adding obstacles does not make things any easier. BUT it does show how quick things in your life can change.

I try to enjoy every moment I have, and finding the beauty in my life. Laughter has been proven in many studies to boost your mood, decrease stress, strengthen your immune system, relieve pain, diminish feelings of anxiety, stimulate oxygen to your organs, great for managing tension, and more.

So go laugh, start with a smile when you see someone, it could turn into laughter – and it is contagious!

What were my symptoms.

What were my personal symptoms that lead me to being diagnosed with Sjögren’s?

It took years, because there seemed to be a reason for every symptom.

Dry eyes and mouth are the main symptoms of Sjögren’s, and I have had dry eyes for a long time now. My mouth started to be dry and I was always so thirsty, and I was so tired all the time. Doc had me checked for diabetes and my thyroid, which were both fine.

Then horrible pain in my leg and was given muscle relaxers. The pain then started on my lower back and buttocks, and my thigh would get so numb, I didn’t have any feeling at all – sciatica – more pain meds. I had an x-ray done when the pain did not subside.  I have anterior subluxation facet arthritis and mild multilevel degenerative disc disease throughout the spine. I was advised to lose weight, watch what I eat, and more pain meds. If my pain continued, I was going to get an MRI done.

But I did not get a MRI and put it off. My husband fell off the roof in 2020 and broke his right ankle, shattered his left foot and fractured 7 ribs, after not healing and 4 surgeries, he developed a bad infection. We thought he was going to have his foot amputated, but 1 more surgery and almost a year of not being able to walk – well, it just was not the right time for me to be hurting. I did not go get an MRI and kept the pain to myself and suffered. My husband needed me, so I decided to wait until he was better before letting him know how serious the pain was.

After he was better, I went back to the doc to complain again of the pain. I also went to a chiropractor for almost a year. My eyes would get so dry and red, my mouth would get dry that it was hard to swallow at times, my skin was so dry and itchy, that I lost my eyebrows, my hair was getting brittle, every part of my body seemed so dry. My doctor had more blood work done to get to the bottom of all this. My inflammatory markers were elevated and my doctor recommended that I see a rheumatologist.

The rheumatologist had more bloodwork and a MRI done. My bloodwork showed possibility of Lupus, Sjögren’s or some sort of an autoimmune disease. So, more test – I thought the worst was a shimmer test – which is putting these plastic thingys in my eyes to measure how much tears I had– that was weird and my eyes hurt for days afterwards. All test were coming back with signs of Sjögren’s. One final test was a Salivary gland biopsy, where they surgically pulled salivary gland tissues from the back of my lower lip.

Then WHOOP WHOOP – finally a diagnosis – Sjögren’s. Relieved, so let’s fix it now! There is no cure for Sjögren’s! Just changing my lifestyle habits and managing my pain!

Turning 60–what I’ve learned in the past six decades so far: #2 Keep Learning!

Our memory and cognitive skills decline as we age, so we need to keep our brains working!

Dementia and Alzheimer’s runs in both sides of my family, and as I started to reach that 60 mark, I started to realize I need to do as much brain work-outs as I can. I wish I would have started taking care of my mind at a lot younger age, but it is just not something that seemed important at the time. There are two things I am always nagging my kids about, keep learning and get healthy NOW! But when you are young you think your invincible, that you’ll worry about that when the time comes, not realizing that everything you do good for your body now, helps every year in the future. Those are two things I want them to start doing right now!

So start reading, start working out, take up a hobby, learn to play an instrument, take a class like cooking or photography, volunteer in your community. Any of these things will help you stay mentally and physically younger than the age you are.

What is Sjögren’s disease?

What is Sjögren’s syndrome?

Sjögren’s disease is an autoimmune disorder that happens when the immune system attacks the glands that make moisture in the eyes, mouth, and other parts of the body.

Sjögren’s syndrome is divided into two categories – Primary form is if you do not have another rheumatic disease (a disease that causes your immune system to attack your joints, muscles, bones and other organs). Secondary form means you also have another rheumatic disease, such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus or scleroderma.

The main symptoms are dry eyes and mouth. Your eyes may burn, itch or feel like they have sand in them. The dryness can causes blurry vision or sensitivity to bright light. You may get irritated and itchy eyelids due to inflammation. Dry mouth may feel chalky, and you may have trouble swallowing, speaking, and tasting. You may develop more cavities and mouth infections

In some cases, Sjögren’s syndrome affects other tissues and organs and has more widespread effects on the body. You may feel fatigued, joint pain, muscle aches and weakness, dry skin, nasal passages, and throat, and a persistent dry cough, skin rashes, swelling of the glands around the face and neck, trouble sleeping, poor concentration and memory problems, numbness, tingling, and weakness, especially in your arms and legs, shortness of breath or trouble breathing.

These symptoms of Sjögren’s vary from person to person. In some people, symptoms go back and forth between mild and severe.

All this information can be found on Sjögren’s Foundation Website Sjögren’s Foundation (sjogrens.org)